


It Wasn't Supposed to End Like This (Arthur Morgan x f/ reader)

by arthurmorgansslut



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29843274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthurmorgansslut/pseuds/arthurmorgansslut
Summary: To your surprise, you find Arthur on the cliffside and witness his last dying words before Charles arrives.
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	It Wasn't Supposed to End Like This (Arthur Morgan x f/ reader)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Just a warning, this is very sad so if you're not good with death or suicidal ideation I would encourage you to skip this one... I'm not sure why I got the idea to write this, I just finished the game for the fifth time and this idea popped into my head. I'm actually really proud of this but apologies in advance if I make anyone really sad.
> 
> One last TW: death, a small part with suicidal ideation, loss, and grief.

Your heart dropped as you processed the sight before you, swinging your leg over your horse’s saddle to jump off, stumbling. Your feet hit the ground, quickly pushing off and running towards the man lying motionless on the cliffside, your breath caught in your throat. You stopped dead in your tracks as you saw the blood and bruises littered about his face, his breathing raspy, his lungs struggling to draw a breath. You collapsed, your heart beating out of your chest, your knees hitting the ground. You heard him cough, and you quickly started to grasp the sharp rocks beneath you as you desperately crawled your way towards him. Your mouth was dry and you couldn’t force any words to come out, as they would be meaningless anyway. If anything, you felt compelled to scream until your body couldn’t anymore. His eyes turned towards you and a tear fell down his cheek, realizing what you were about to witness. You reached him and didn’t know what to do, you didn’t want to touch him in fear of making things worse, as if he was a piece of glass that could shatter at any moment. He choked out a cough, and you cringed at the sound of his struggled gasps for air as he lay there helpless on the ground. You put your hands gently on his face, rocking back and forth as a tear fell from your face onto his.  
“Arthur...” You managed to cry out softly as your lips trembled, not knowing what else to say. You knew what was going to happen. It was bound to happen sooner or later, but you didn’t want it to be like this. You wished it was how you imagined it before, Arthur lying in his warm bed, surrounded by the gang and the people who loved him, as he drifted off to sleep. Not like this. _Who did this to him?_  
He looked like he was trying to say something, but couldn’t get it out. Your thumb went up to brush a tear from his face. His skin was burning up under your touch, he had a fever. Instinctively, you lifted his head gently and maneuvered it onto your lap, stroking his hair to calm him. Or yourself. You didn’t know. Your throat ached as you held in your cries. You took a deep breath, realizing you had been holding your breath.  
“I’m sorry,” You sobbed, holding his face in your hands, “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.” Your head was pounding and you felt like you were gonna pass out. Arthur took a long breath, the blood and mucus rattling in his chest.  
“Don’t.” His voice was raspy. He took another breath. “Don’t be sorry. ever.” He let out a rough cough, looking away from you. You were overcome with emotion as you heard him speak again. You started to cry harder, and his hand reached up weakly and grabbed yours, bringing it to his mouth. He pressed his dry lips against the back of your shaky hand to plant a small kiss upon it. You smiled as you tried to breathe, your vision blurred by tears. You looked up at the sky to blink away the tears, the beautiful sunrise illuminating the cliffside.  
“What am I gonna do without you?” You looked back at Arthur as you continued to sob, his hand still holding your wrist tightly, with all the strength he could muster up.  
“You’re gonna go on with your life-” He wheezed as he inhaled. “You’re gonna find someone- and you’re gonna get married-” His eyes were glued to yours and filled with sincerity.  
“ No, Arthur I can't-”  
“and you’re gonna have money- and children- and you’re gonna live till you’re an old, old woman...” He breathed in hard, trying to chuckle, his chest rattling again. You couldn’t stop the tears from falling, hand stroking his hair.  
“and you’re gonna be happy.” He started coughing again, his body tensing up.  
“I can’t- I don’t know-” Your thoughts were jumbled, you could barely process what he was saying.  
“Please. for me.” He whispered, his thumb stroking your hand back and forth. You didn’t answer, your mind was wandering and trying to grasp on to reality. This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t real. You couldn’t even imagine your future without him. He was your person.  
“I- I don’t think I can- I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much...” You squeezed your eyes shut as you cried, leaning your forehead up against his. You didn’t care if you got sick at this point. You felt your nose running.  
“I know.” He sniffled, another tear rolling down his cheek.  
“It wasn’t supposed to end like this.” You whispered.  
“I know.” His breathing was dying down. You lifted your head off of his and started panicking again, trying to prop his head upon your lap. He coughed and blood sputtered out of his mouth. Your eyes widened at the sight. He started gasping for air. He couldn’t breathe. You started to shake him slightly, hyperventilating again. Not yet, not yet.  
“Please don’t go, I’m not ready-” Your voice cracked as he gripped your wrist tighter with his rough calloused hands, trying to hold on to every bit of life he had.  
“Y/N-” Your eyes snapped back to him as he spoke, quieter than ever. “You have to let me go...” He closed his eyes and tears trickled down his face. You nodded and tried to prepare yourself, but there was no way to prepare. He opened his blue eyes and stared into yours, and you noticed how different he looked. His eyes were sunken in and red, his face also flushed underneath the various bruises. The Arthur you once knew, the witty, loving, healthy Arthur, was gone. He was in so much pain. You needed to let him go.  
You held his face and watched him relax, his breathing slowing down. You held your breath as you felt his grip on your wrist loosen. _I have to let him go, I have to let him go,_ you repeated to yourself in your head, although your body was telling you the exact opposite. You were nothing without him. Tears streamed down your cheeks as his hand fell from your wrist, hitting the ground. No. You watched as his eyes became empty, the life draining from his features. You cried loudly and gripped his shirt tightly with your other hand, knuckles turning white. Your voice cracked, the sounds reverberating off the cliff walls. His breathing stopped. You reached your hand down to his neck to feel for a pulse. Nothing. You immediately yelped, quickly taking his head off of your lap and placing it on the ground. You instinctively backed away, your hands scraping the ground as you scurried away from him, back hitting the rock wall. You stared with wide eyes at motionless Arthur, your mouth dry. you couldn’t even cry. He was gone. You heard birds chirping and the sounds of nature, but all you wanted to do was scream for them to shut up. It angered you that life all around you was just continuing. You felt a pit in your stomach as you wretched, feeling vomit in the back of your throat. You leaned over and threw up on the ground. You wiped your mouth and scooted further away, trying to stop trembling. You didn’t want to see the body. The body. Arthur. Arthurs body. You stared blankly at the ground in front of you, the light breeze tickling your skin. You started to notice the pain in your knees from kneeling for so long, your bloodied hands from the sharp rocks on the ground. You gulped.  
After sitting for god knows how long, you heard the faint sound of a horse approaching. It got louder and louder, and you saw someone in your peripheral. They jumped off their horse. You hoped it was the law. Maybe they would shoot you.  
“Y/N?” You recognized the voice. It was Charles. You heard him walk closer, and spot Arthur on the ground.  
“Oh god-“ He ran up to the body, dropping to his knees. Almost the same way you did. You continued to stare at the ground in front of you, picking your fingernails. They were probably bleeding.  
“Don’t bother. He’s gone.” You said, emotionless. Charles stood up, backing away from the body. He walked up to you and saw the vomit on the ground.  
“Did you find him like this?” Charles asked. He rubbed his eyes.  
“No. He was alive when I got here.” No tears formed in your eyes this time, you felt completely numb.  
“I’m so sorry.” Charles kneeled beside you. You didn’t reply.  
“Did you see who beat him up like that?” He asked.  
“No.” You and Charles stayed silent for a bit.  
“I should bury him, make him a proper grave. Is that okay with you?” Charles looked at you with softness in his eyes. You knew he had good intentions.  
“Yeah.” You continued to pick your fingernails. Charles stood up and walked over to Arthur. You winced and looked down as he picked up the body. You couldn’t look. You stared at your hands until you couldn’t hear the sound of Charles’s footsteps any longer. You sat for minutes, hours, you didn’t know, but eventually, Charles came back and set up a small campfire for the both of you.  
“You should eat,” Charles said, handing you a bread roll. You shook your head. He sighed and put the bread roll down beside you, just in case you changed your mind. Before you knew it, it was nighttime. Your butt ached from sitting on the ground for so long. Charles approached you.  
“I fed your horse. He seems worried about you.” You tried to force a smile, but you felt as if there were no muscles capable of that.  
“Thank you.” Your throat was dry. It was becoming unbearable.  
“Do you have water?” Your eyes tore away from the fire to look at Charles. He looked shocked that you spoke to him, let alone moved your head.  
“Yeah. here.” He pulled a small tumbler out of his bag, handing it to you. You reached your arm up to grab the bottle, your body cramping from not being moved in so long. You brought the bottle to your dry lips and gulped the water, draining the bottle.  
After another long while of sitting and staring at the fire, you used up all your strength to lay down on the cot Charles had laid out for you. Your entire body was aching and your bones felt stiff. Your head hit the pillow and your body loosened up a bit, finally becoming warm under the thin blanket. You brought your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them so you were in the fetal position. You took a deep breath.  
After hours of lying there, eyes wide, lips dry, you decided to stand up. You shakily sat yourself up and looked at Charles, who was sound asleep in his cot. Quietly, you pulled the blanket off of yourself and stood up carefully, knees weak from earlier. You considered going to find where Charles buried Arthur, but you weren’t ready. Instead, you walked a bit along the cliffside, listening to the sounds of crickets and trees blowing in the wind. you walked far enough away from Charles, and your feet shuffled a bit closer to the edge of the cliff. You imagined yourself taking one more step, and perhaps falling to your death. Would it be fast? Or would it feel like slow motion until you hit the ground? And what if you hit the ground and survived? That would be painful. You stared down, noticing the various rocks below. _Maybe I would be with him again._ You almost cringed at yourself, a long time ago you made a pact that you would never fall in love. Past you would’ve thought current you was a prize idiot. You were alone before the gang. The only thing you had to lose was yourself until you met Arthur.  
You ultimately decided against the idea, lowering yourself to the ground and taking a seat on the edge of the cliff, legs hanging off the side. You remembered when you and Arthur sat on the edge of a cliff near a waterfall, watching the sun go down. You closed your eyes as you recalled his firm hand holding yours, your head on his broad shoulder. The sound of his breathing. That was before he got sick.  
You snapped out of it, pulling a cigarette and match out of your bag and swiping the match on the bottom of your boot. You only started doing that because it was what Arthur did. You lit the cigarette and shook the match out, throwing it off the cliff. You inhaled the strong smoke as you stared at the moon. If I had gotten to him sooner... Your brain wouldn’t shut up as you went over yesterday’s events repeatedly. If you had left to look for him even five minutes earlier you could’ve maybe seen who was beating Arthur up and shot them. and you could’ve taken Arthur somewhere for him to rest… You remembered the last time you talked to him before you found him on the cliffside. He was angry at Dutch. You weren’t sure why, but you tried to talk to Arthur about it and he stormed off. Your throat tightened as you pictured him walking away from you for the last time. You should’ve just stopped him, grabbed him, and told him to stay. But you didn’t. You let him walk away. If you had just stayed with him, everything would be different. A tear fell from your face as you took another puff of smoke, blowing it out with a shaky breath. You pictured the last time you kissed him. Before he was sick. After he found out he had Tuberculosis he wouldn’t let you kiss him. He didn’t want you to get sick too. You could barely remember the last time you kissed him. The last time you hugged him. The last time you were intimate with him. If only you knew that they were the last times… you would’ve done things so much differently. You whimpered and looked down, your vision blurry and filled with tears. You blinked hard and looked back up, the moon was nearly full, high in the sky. You remembered the letter Arthur gave you once. He was never good with words when he spoke out loud, he couldn’t express his feelings. But on paper, he wrote the most thoughtful of things. He didn’t say it that much, but you knew he loved you. Behind his strong and stoic exterior, he was the most caring person you ever met. You brushed your hair out of your face and continued to cry, your heart feeling empty but so full at the same time. It hit you that you would never be able to hug him again… feel his warm arms holding you tight, his calming heartbeat against your ear. You threw your cigarette off the cliff and brought your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly. Your breathing hitched as you cried quietly into your knees, your head aching. His words echoed in your head over and over again.  
 _“I love you, darlin’...”_ You closed your eyes and pictured him planting a kiss on your forehead as you were tangled in the sheets with him in his cot. His thumb tracing small circles in your skin, your hand running over his soft chest hair.  
Your thoughts were interrupted as you heard a shuffle come from a small patch of greenery further down the mountain. You sniffled and wiped your tears, assuming it was Charles.  
“Charles?” You whispered into the darkness. There was no answer. You were beginning to get cautious, thinking maybe it was a wolf or a cougar. You heard the shuffle again, but closer this time. Your hand quickly went to your gun belt, but you realized you left your revolver by the fire. You pulled out your knife, eyes wide as you tried to get your eyes to adjust. Suddenly, you saw a figure emerge from the darkness into the moonlight. You jumped, backing up a little, but exhaled when you realized it was just a buck. As long as you didn’t scare him, he wouldn’t do anything to you. The tall buck was awfully close to you. You looked at him, trying to calm yourself. The buck looked at you, his eyes reflecting the moonlight. You were overcome with a sense of relief, but you weren’t sure why. The buck started to approach you further, his hooves clopping on the rocks. _Why would a buck be up on the mountain?_ You thought to yourself. Your eyes flicked up to his pointy antlers, breath catching in your throat. The buck stopped and continued to look at you. You couldn’t explain it, but you felt a calming presence. Almost a… familiarity? You shook the thought as the buck huffed, his breath appearing in the cool air. You felt a strange urge to speak to him, but you refrained, you didn’t want to scare him. The buck slowly bowed his head, and for a split second you were sure he was going to charge at you, but he didn’t. He bowed. His hoof curled underneath his as he lowered himself, bowing before you. You stared in disbelief as he stood back up. You felt oddly emotional. The buck took one last look at you and turned around, running off back into the dark. You listened as he went back down the mountain, his footsteps getting quieter and quieter as he disappeared into the forest below. You smiled, still processing what just happened. You had never seen a buck up close like that before. As if you had been hit by a ton of bricks, you recalled something that Charles said once.  
 _“I like to believe that people’s souls come back to us in the form of animals. It’s comforting if that makes any sense…”_  
Your lips parted and you began to cry again, but this time it was happy tears. You looked up at the stars. You didn’t know if Charles was right or not, but you knew that one way or another, Arthur had finally just said his last goodbye.

The End


End file.
